Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
