shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
