Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
