Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
