I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
