I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
