its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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