As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
