i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
