i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
