My friends, they love my intelligence
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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