erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think my vagina is haunted
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
