Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
