do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize