STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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