Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
