i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
