part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
