Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
