So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
