What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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