Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
