We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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