Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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