i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
