He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
