Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize