I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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