I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
