I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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