I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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