I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
