I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize