Don't you send me to vm
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
