Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
