.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
