My nipple is on Facebook.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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