she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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