the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
