Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
