Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize