Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize