are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
