Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
