Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
