Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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