is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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