so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
