So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
