please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize