dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
