I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
