it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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