Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
