Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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