Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
