And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
