I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize