operation harelip BJ is a go
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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