fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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