I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
