I hope mine doesn't look like that
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
