I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My bed smells like the plague
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
