I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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