I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i now understand why vodka
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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