This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
