Buhtt sex?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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