I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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